Motivation is something that makes us to do an effort, to take steps to reach our goal. Without motivation we are unable to do any task or achieve our goals. Motivated people have a positive outlook, they’re excited about what they’re doing, and they know that they’re investing their time in something that’s truly worthwhile.

There are some people who are capable of motivating themselves – they have inner motivation towards their work while some others need it from others. There are few people who get motivated from external factors like a word of appreciation, good environment, support from a closed one etc.

Motivation is about moving people to act in a way that achieves a specific and immediate goal. When you’re motivating people to do something they may not necessarily want to do, you have to offer them something they want in return.

You can always keep motivating people around you be it your friends, colleague, employees, or family members. Here are few ways to motivate others…

Trust people. When you’re motivating people, you’re not telling them exactly what to do or giving them precise directions. You’re empowering them to be their best, trusting that they will then do the right thing. Only with a firm trust in others you will able to motivate them.

Treat People Kindly: You might not know it, but it’s a big motivation booster when people are treated right. People enjoy knowing when they’re doing a good job and enjoy working with people that treat others with kindness.

Be a Good Listener. No one likes to feel like they don’t matter. People enjoy feeling like they’re making a difference. Always listen to what others have to say or share about their goals. This will make them think more about their goals and try finding ways to achieve it.

Give rewards: Rewards are always motivating. You can give rewards in form of a gift, money or few words of praise. Sometimes people feel like completing tasks so that they can have reward at the end hence, reward is one of the strong motivating forces.

Tell them what they are up to: Letting people know how much they have done and how they have done would motivate them to do further. From time to time give feedback about their work.

Challenge them. People aren’t inspired by doing the ordinary or by meeting expectations. They’re inspired by the exertion, creativity, and sacrifice needed to exceed what they themselves thought possible. So ask them to do which they have never done or they find it difficult to do.

Tell about strengths: Let them know what their strengths are. Sometimes we ourselves fail to notice our strengths but when others tell it to us we realise and start making use of them. Knowing their strengths will inspire them from within when they are stuck at something and unable to take steps ahead.

Motivating others isn’t an easy task but you can surely do it if you follow certain things. Also until and unless you yourself are motivated you cannot motivate others. First motivate yourself in order to motivate others.

M

Meltdown in children

A meltdown is a reaction to feeling overwhelmed.

For some kids, it happens when there’s too much sensory information to process. The commotion of an amusement park might set them off, for instance. For other kids, it can be a reaction to having too many things to think about.

An example of too much sensory input could be filling a small water pitcher. Most of the time, you can control the flow of water and fill the pitcher a little at a time. But sometimes the water flow is too strong and the pitcher overflows before you can turn the water off.

That’s how a sensory meltdown works. The noise at the amusement park is sensory input that floods your child’s brain.

When your child is experiencing an emotional meltdown, try one of these responses:

Be Present – remain in the room. Gently place your arm on their shoulder or hug them. Whatever they need. But be there. Don’t leave. You are their safety net.

Be Stretchy – your child may resist your help, physically or verbally. That’s okay. When your child tells you to go away he/she doesn’t really mean it. He/she means ‘I need to see if you love me enough to stay.’

Be Verbal – give your child the words to name their feelings, while simultaneously acknowledging them: “I can see you are UPSET right now. “You are SAD because our doggy has died. It HURTS inside and makes you want to cry”; “It’s FRUSTRATING when you can’t have the pen to draw on the wall, I can see that makes you MAD”.

Be Physical: Meltdown moments are your opportunity to establish physical boundaries for your child. This can be done in following way;

– Hold firmly.

– “Stop”.


– “This is not okay”.

– Repeat as necessary – this may take some time. Persevere. It works.

Be Alternative – telling your child to stop physically is one thing. But they need to do something with that emotion. So provide alternatives for them like asking them to draw what they feel like, play with clay.

In the life of every child can be a time when you start using profanity. As parents often do not, many of them are shocked and react desperate, not knowing how to handle the situation. Here are some tips for prevent children say bad words.

VOCABULARY IN CHILDREN:

One very important thing that parents obviated when their children start insult and say profanity is that children are not born with that vocabulary, or with none.

This means:

• first, that they must have heard those words in any context, but not exactly the home or direct talks with them. Needless to diagnose that frequents places, so that we know what the origin of repetition.
• Second, observe when and why he uses little. Children often use bad words as a reason of grace, knowing that it is forbidden provokes a hilarious and repeated pleasure to see the faces of their parents’ astonishment. They are acts of mischief, basically not unhealthy. In these cases, it is best to explain what the meaning and connotation of these words. Generally, losing that sense of mystery, children stop using them.
• Sometimes the children are using that vocabulary rude because they need to express anxieties, frustrations, fears, anger who have been trapped in them and do not know how to communicate.
• Here is worth the same, a good conversation with the child, offering the possibility of using other alternatives. There are words or phrases in our language that have the same expressive load and are not rude (gee, gosh, wow, etc.). Eye: the most important thing here is to know what is happening to the child. It is not enough to express better if left behind discontent and aggression, which is then expressed otherwise.

How to handle the Abusive language:

TODDLERS

• Young children the best solution is to ignore them. If you do not react, probably will not use the bad word again.
• Another variation is to transform the word that told a similar normal usually emphasize this.

SCHOOL CHILDREN

• In this age school children already know what they mean and what bad words provoke reaction. Often try to test the limits.
• Very importantly, stay calm and serenity.
• What more awaits your child is that you skids and alarm reactions. Instead, explain why you can not use those words, that some people do but that children should not use them.
• Use the advice you have offered and, above all, stay calm and be consistent. If you handle the situation well the problem will disappear gradually.

How to prevent children insult

It’s a rather embarrassing situation when we are with our children and children insult someone, Either from another child or an adult. It is important not to let ignore this situation and we talk to our children about it, otherwise it could become a habit very difficult to change.

Let’s know more:

Educating by example is the most important advice we give.

What children learn at home then repeated everywhere, and it is crucial not to listen at home profanity or insult others, even jokingly.

CURIOUS KIDS

• Children often do not really know that they are somehow attacking someone, like when they say: “Look mom that gentleman nose! In these situations they are not intentionally insulting, but are expressing and sharing their curiosity.
• In these cases, if we find that the person has listened, we quickly offer an apology and tell our son who will talk about this later.
• When we get home we calmly explain that we all have different appearances and that while the look of someone can get our attention, we should not point this out because it can be offensive.

INSULTING MAY SEEM FUNNY

• Sometimes children have learned on TV or any other children and perhaps offensive insult seems he’s saying something funny. In these cases we must tell you that what you just said is an insult and should not to repeat these words in any field.
• The way to deal with the situation will be different depending on the age of your child. If your child is 4 or 5 years and is able to understand when you say that was rude, which has hurt the other person, and not to use such expressions.
• For older children, generally they already knew the words that could be offensive and therefore should not say them to anyone.
• If your child has insulted someone ask first why you have, then explain that his attitude was not appropriate and that made you angry, finally reversed the situation and ask how you would feel if someone insulted.

TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT

• No matter the age of the child, the dialogue is always the best way to address such problems, it is the only way you will understand why children should not have this kind of attitude.
• If you yell or punish them without giving any explanation, will not understand that their behavior was not appropriate.
• Punishing a good disciplinary action Should such occurrences, but remember always give an explanation, but the punishment will not be useless because they will not learn anything from it.

EXPLAIN THE MEANING OF WORDS

• In as few words as possible, explain the meaning of the words the child has used and let him face the meaning. It will make you uneasy, but the step is important.
• It is usually an eye-opener for the child. Innocent as they are, they usually have no clue as to what the words imply.
• It is certainly not their intention to say words to that effect. They may simply be using it as an unconscious exclamation, and without the precise comprehension.
• Sometimes, children use such language even to simply gain the attention of their parents.
• (Remember, you will need to adapt this step depending upon the maturity level of your child.)

Whatever you expect from your child, you must give it to him first. Use respectful language at home – be polite to the spouse, to the child and to everyone who enters your home. Build your child’s self-esteem. Also, take him to gatherings where he can see how refined people interact. It will surely bring about a great deal of positive change in your child.

Language is our way of communicating what we want and who we are. By using bad language, we diminish the divine spark within us that defines our humanity.

Dr. Laura Schlesinger